CIRCLE OF COMPARISON

How many times have you heard this line " DON'T GET UPSET, SEE OTHERS THEY HAVE MORE PROBLEMS IN THEIR LIFE AND STILL ARE HAPPY?

Is it what we want to hear when we discuss our problem?

Every individual has their issues or troubles which are important for them. But either intentionally or unintentionally we rate them as less important or undervalue them, thereby not validating their feelings and emotions.

Now, here comes a phase when an individual starts thinking about how irrational my feelings are or am I not allowed to express them? This guilt leads to feelings of isolation, humiliation and low self-esteem.

But what becomes more worse than this, is the circle of comparison. I have heard people saying that "at least you don't have to experience what I had to", "just see others who are more frustrated and yet living a better life". I accept the fact that valuing or being grateful for what we have is essential and it helps.

But what if I don't want to hear this and instead, I WANT TO BE HEARD. No matter how small a problem appears or it may not hold the same value to you. But it matters to them who are experiencing it and might be in their worst phase of life where they don't know what to do next. A 10-year-old child can have problems in their life as exactly as an adult of 20-25 years old. Problems may be different, but feelings can never be compared.

Also, we have been taught since childhood to stay strong and that an emotionally strong person is someone who never cries or cribs over their problems. But rather, an emotionally healthy individual is someone who acknowledges, accepts, and expresses every emotion, also the ones that disturbs them. No emotion is good or bad. Every emotion is different and needs to be addressed, by not being hard on ourselves.

Instead of using such phrases of comparison, START practicing the idea of providing a safe and comfortable space for everyone who discusses or speaks about their life. Such phrases can be helpful like saying "it's okay if you are not feeling okay", "you're allowed to cry or feel this way". "Stop judging, as we don't realize how much pain another person is experiencing". Also, start asking them - how we can help them, how can we stand by their side and helping them to consult a mental health professional.

Normalize going for a therapy and consulting a mental health professional. As I always mention, mental health is not just about freedom from illness, it is about feeling genuinely happy and satisfied with life, making choices that give you pleasure, our relations with others, how we handle our stress - emotionally, psychologically, socially, physically, and everything we encounter in our lives.

Please try to stop judging and start accepting by helping people to come up and speak about their problems. Give them the assurance that their feelings matter. Offering a helping hand can make someone feel that their emotions and feelings are valuable. Apart from this, also start being aware of your emotions and feelings.

As yours and everyone’s mental health matters, make it normal to ask for help. Let's come together and create a space to express and make our mental health a priority.